Fighting stage 4 breast cancer: New mum shares her story while still in chemotherapy
Snehal Ponde seemed to accept the next phase of her life figured out. She was and then living in Mumbai, India, and happily married. She was thriving equally a homo resources professional also, a job she had had for thirteen years.
In August 2019, an opportunity of a lifetime came when Ponde'south husband was offered a permanent job in Singapore. At the same time, the couple found out that, after being married for 2 years, Ponde was about three weeks meaning with their outset child.
Excited by the prospect of starting a new life in a new country, the before longhoped-for parents welcomed the opportunity, packed up and said their goodbyes to friends and family in Mumbai.
They arrived in Singapore in December 2019, just weeks before Singapore reported its first confirmed COVID-nineteen case, all ready for their side by side gamble.
WORRYING Near Abiding ENGORGEMENT
The 38-year-old spent the next few months settling into her new home and preparing for the inflow of her newborn. Ponde had earlier decided that she would merely outset looking for a job after her delivery.
In April concluding year, she gave birth to a healthy infant male child , Samar, and brought him abode from the hospital two days later. That was during the "circuit breaker" period, where no dine-ins were allowed and people were strongly encouraged to stay abode.
What was supposed to be precious bonding time betwixt the new female parent and her child grew into worry when Ponde noticed that i breast, her left, was "constantly" engorged.
And everything she did to treat it didn't seem to work.
"I tried heat packs, massages, and I used to become upward every two hours at night to endeavor to (pump out my breast milk)," said Ponde.
Despite feeling something was amiss, she decided to postpone her visit to the infirmary equally Singapore was in its circuit breaker.
Past August however, she felt it was "high time" to phone call in a lactation consultant to help her with her declining breast milk supply.
There was no lump, recalled Ponde, and the lactation consultant suspected that it might exist mastitis, a common breast infection that nursing mothers confront. She and then recommended a breast doctor to Ponde.
In the same month, Ponde made an appointment with the breast doctor.
THE Breast CANCER DIAGNOSIS
"It doesn't await like a blocked milk duct," Ponde'due south doctor told her while reviewing her breast ultrasound results.
The dr. performed a 15-infinitesimal procedure called fine-needle aspiration biopsy, in which a small tissue or fluid from her left breast was removed with a needle attached to a syringe.
She was then sent home and asked to return in a few days to review the results.
The clinic called after a couple of days, asking her to return – and bring her married man along. "I wondered, what did she need my husband for?"
At the doctor's, Ponde found out that she had carcinoma, a blazon of cancer. The American Cancer Society said on its website that most breast cancers are carcinomas, which are tumours that start in the cells that line the organs and tissues throughout the body.
"I don't remember much of that chat because it was shocking to hear that I have cancer," said Ponde.
She didn't have a family history of cancer, not did she know anyone who had cancer. She was as well worried nearly having to navigate the treatment and recovery process, including getting a second medical opinion, in a new country and environs.
PREGNANCY-RELATED BREAST CANCER
Afterward a series of additional tests, the couple found out that Ponde had phase 4 inflammatory breast cancer, also known as metastatic breast cancer. This means the cancer had spread to her lungs, liver and bones.
"Every bit soon as someone said stage four, my commencement idea was, I am going to dice."
Samar was only four months erstwhile then.
Completely devastated by the diagnosis, Ponde asked her doctor how she could take developed cancer. The consultant told her it could have been linked to her pregnancy equally her cancer was "oestrogen-positive".
As soon equally someone said stage four, my first thought was, I am going to die.
According to Healthline.com, if you have oestrogen-positive chest cancer, your cancer cells grow in the presence of the hormone oestrogen. Oestrogen is responsible for both a woman's concrete characteristics and her reproductive system.
With a diagnosis like stage four breast cancer, which Ponde describes equally something "y'all hear in movies", she recounted her physician telling her to non experience similar "information technology's the terminate of the world".
There are good treatment options available for her, she said , with increasing advancements in the field.
"It WAS COMPLETELY UNFAIR"
"It really seemed like a savage joke," Ponde said. "We were looking forwards to so many things at that point: A new country, our first babe and nosotros were 3 years into our marriage."
After the diagnosis, she recalls "feeling numb for the longest fourth dimension". Without much fourth dimension to think or experience anything, Ponde had to move rapidly into starting chemotherapy in September.
"I honestly felt completely victimised. It was completely unfair to both of united states of america and our baby."
What will I look like at the end of this entire thing? What volition people feel when they look at me?
She thought: Did I non practice enough? Did I not eat well? What did I practise wrong to deserve something like this?
"I recall feeling very aroused. Your whole life flashes in front end of you," said Ponde.
Her body and cocky-esteem also took a huge striking from the chemotherapy, from her changing appearance to fatigue and nausea.
"At that bespeak, my hair started falling out and I was bloated," she said.
"When you see yourself every day in the mirror, you're wondering who this person is. You don't recognise this person at all."
Equally her appearance started changing, Ponde institute herself worrying about what people thought of her – and felt judged.
"I had all these fears coming upward: What will I look like at the terminate of this entire thing? What will people feel when they look at me?"
Fifty-fifty though Ponde acknowledged that her feelings could merely be assumptions or simply her "internal fear", they were real to her. She plant herself succumbing to fears, doubts and judgements about herself.
"I don't want people to pity me. I didn't want people to feel scared looking at me considering I don't have hair, eyelashes and eyebrows."
ACCEPTING CANCER – AND HELP FROM OTHERS
Beingness far from her family back in India was as well tough. Ponde's mum had passed abroad only before her baby was born and her dad hadn't been able to visit her because of the pandemic.
"My biggest regret is not having my immediate family unit come to see me," she said.
The difficult menstruum, still, made Ponde realise that the "people who matter" would always exist there for her.
In January this year, i of her best friends Suruchi Shah, a therapist and child counsellor in India, asked if she needed aid.
"I don't need therapy. I am potent. I am good," Ponde told her, initially rejecting her "counselling point of view".
She somewhen agreed to commencement therapy with Shah, and it ended up being one of the best decisions she fabricated, Ponde told CNA Women.
From addressing her fear of going out to meet others to removing her feelings of self-pity and judgement, Shah helped Ponde deal with her emotions in a healthy fashion.
"I recall my biggest emotional victory at that point was that I finally accepted that I have cancer," said Ponde.
Ponde added that she besides benefited profoundly from the community she found at the Breast Cancer Foundation (BCF). It'south also where she learnt that asking for assist is non a bad thing.
"Reaching out to BCF was definitely a big matter, considering in that location were a lot of answers that they already accept and you don't need to start the journey from scratch," she said.
From finding suitable doctors to helpful inputs about nutrition, chemotherapy and radiation therapy, it was a good place to start.
"It's like this sisterhood where everybody wants to protect everybody, specially for breast cancer where there'due south very few people in their younger age," said Ponde.
My biggest emotional victory at that signal was that I finally accepted that I have cancer.
Beingness role of the group eventually inspired her to start thinking about what she wanted to practice with her life – and the kind of touch on she wanted to create.
"When I started asking for assist, I retrieve my world turned around, because everybody wanted to be there in their own way to help me."
COPING WITH UNCERTAINTIES
The hardest part of dealing with cancer, Ponde said, is "not knowing where the treatment is going".
So far, her treatment authorities has consisted of chemotherapy followed past hormonal therapy and back to chemotherapy once more. She has tried two dissimilar chemotherapy drugs but both didn't piece of work well.
"Each time we got our hopes up, when the drug started working, it stopped working and the cancer would come back," said Ponde.
She is now on a third chemotherapy drug called doxorubicin, which she started in August.
Surgery is not an option for those who have Stage 4 cancer, her physician had told her, as the cancer cells have already spread to other parts of the torso.
"I don't know when I'm going to get better. I don't know when I'm going to be able to say that I'm in remission."
Ponde said she's learnt to step out of her comfort zone to share her cancer journey with others.
While many choose to share their story only after they've completed their treatment (as cancer survivors), she told CNA Women that she wanted to share her experience while she'south still in chemotherapy.
I don't know when I'm going to get better. I don't know when I'm going to exist able to say that I'yard in remission.
"Information technology's and then difficult for me to even talk like this, you know, putting yourself out at that place. Merely I think that my discomfort is very insignificant if I tin make a difference to anyone's life," she said.
Every chemotherapy session, which she does once every three weeks, leaves her feeling unwell for a week. Out of which, she would have to rest in bed for nigh 3 to 4 days.
Ponde said that her son Samar is her biggest motivation, inspiration – and distraction . "I want to be there when he goes to school, graduates, gets his kickoff task and gets married. I want to be there for everything."
Condign A LIFE Charabanc
Before in February, five months later on the breast cancer diagnosis, Ponde decided she wanted to become a career and life motorcoach later some encouragement from her husband.
"Don't let life stop. What are you waiting for?" he told her, a argument that stuck, specially during moments where she felt overwhelmed.
Coaching made perfect sense to her, as it was not merely something that she already had some knowledge of during her previous career in HR, only would also let her to give dorsum.
Simply even and then, she never thought that she'd go into it total-time – she had all along seen it as something that would exist useful in her career.
She then started a course in Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) in July and received her document in September .
As role of her journeying to become a qualified coach, she is now on her fashion to completing 100 coaching hours past December, as part of a requirement to become an Associate Certified Bus. This is a separate certification issued by the International Coaching Federation.
It's and so difficult for me to even talk like this, y'all know, putting yourself out in that location. Simply I think that my discomfort is very insignificant if I can make a difference to anyone's life.
"(Coaching is) another style I'm learning to requite back, helping people figure their lives out," said Ponde.
During the weeks where the side effects of her chemotherapy are more muted, Ponde tries to squeeze in well-nigh 4 coaching sessions a week, clocking in iv hours per session. The people she coaches range from women who demand career advice on returning to work to those looking for personal growth.
Even on days where she's coaching for vii to eight hours a day, she still feels energised, she said.
Through it all, Ponde is thankful that her family unit has adjusted to her "regime" – which includes going for chemotherapy, coaching and lite exercises such as yoga and cycling.
They've set themselves a schedule, she said, with her mother-in-law and helper stepping in to help accept care of Samar, while her hubby works through the day.
"My hubby will ever tell me that I need to focus on myself to heal and go better for the kind of time to come that I want to give Samar ."
"And then, I think I just learned to be kind to myself."
The Breast Cancer Foundation (BCF) provides resource, services and programmes for Singapore women fighting breast cancer, such as counselling, workshops related to mental health, the Young Women's Support Group, wig loans and the volunteer befriender initiative. You tin can call BCF at 6356 0123 or email enquiries [at] bcf.org.sg for more information.
CNA Women is a new section on CNA Lifestyle that seeks to inform, empower and inspire the modern woman. If yous accept women-related news, problems and ideas to share with us, email CNAWomen [at] mediacorp.com.sg .
Source: https://cnalifestyle.channelnewsasia.com/women/breast-cancer-stage-four-carcinoma-pregnancy-286221
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